Rational compassion goes a long way

Many Korean mothers are puzzled by the recent debate around the 'that's why' childcare approach, which, intended for deep empathetic interaction, has caused concerns. Despite efforts to uncover hidden emotions and motivations behind children’s behavior using phrases like 'that's why you did that,' some mothers who embraced the approach feel unfairly criticized, questioning their parenting skills.

In a sense, mothers can also be considered victims. A study revealed that teenagers with empathetic parents have a lower risk of developing depression, but overly compassionate parents experienced faster cellular aging compared to their peers. The result shows that misplaced or excessive empathy can harm both parents and their children.

Similar stories emerge from team leaders responsible for year-end assessments of Gen Z team members in organizations. These leaders rightfully seek improvements from their young staff in various areas, only to encounter immature sulking. In response to inquiries about suggestions for the organization during consultations, team members express a need for more support and interest. Leading is undoubtedly challenging, as leaders must navigate individuals prioritizing their interests and seeking more attention.

'Compassionate leadership,' emphasizing motivating every member to unlock their full potential, is gaining more traction than the traditional 'Captain leadership,' which relies heavily on the leader's expertise. Modern leaders should express personal interest in their staff, build rapport, and attentively consider their emotions and situations. These qualities are not just expected from leaders; understanding, consideration, and compassion are integral aspects of workplace culture, especially as diverse teammates collaborate with varying workspaces and schedules.

The crucial aspect lies in mastering empathetic support. When executed poorly, supporters may experience emotional fatigue or a sense of helplessness, while recipients, in turn, might feel undervalued and harbor resentment.

What type of compassion does an organization require? Recent research explores empathy on different fronts. Yale University professor and psychologist Paul Bloom suggests that cognitive compassion, focusing on rational problem-solving, is advantageous, while emotional empathy can lead to more challenges than benefits. Stanford University psychology professor Jamil Zaki categorizes compassion into compassionate interest and emotional compassion. Zaki contends that compassionate interest, involving attention and consideration of the other person's situation, is more essential than emotional compassion, which primarily involves feeling and expressing emotions together.

Compassion, once again, is no easy task—it demands stepping into others' shoes and seeing the world from their perspective. Studies also highlight its challenges, revealing that individuals frequently exposed to compassion-demanding situations, like medical staff in pediatric ERs or social care workers at volunteering sites, grapple with 'compassion fatigue,' leading to emotional burnout.

Leaders of organizations should seek more strategic compassion rather than unilateral, unconditional, or emotional empathy. Compassion has become indispensable in leadership and organizational management, but as with everything, the key is how to execute it right.