Simply listening can significantly help someone going through a tough time

We are living in an era where material wealth abounds, yet a sense of spiritual emptiness prevails. "Simply listening can provide significant support to someone going through a tough time," said senior pastor Lee Mi-ok of the Yeouido Full Gospel Church’s Full Gospel Counseling Center on Friday. “Many individuals find solace and courage simply by having someone listen to their challenges.” The Full Gospel Counseling Center's 'Agape Telephone,' in its 44th year, has approximately 80 volunteers handling an average of 500 monthly counseling calls.

-What are the common challenges people frequently seek consultation for nowadays?

"The nature of challenges, including family issues, workplace conflicts, and struggles with material and interpersonal relationships, remains consistent with the past. These days, with the rise in the number of unmarried individuals and single-person households, however, there has been a noticeable uptick in counseling related to loneliness and interpersonal relationship issues. In many cases, they have limited interactions with their families, and despite being employed, they may face difficulties in workplace relationships. Consequently, they tend to switch jobs frequently, distancing themselves from high-quality employment opportunities, perpetuating a vicious cycle."

-Can counseling alone lead to the resolution or treatment of a problem?

"People often seek phone counseling not solely to resolve issues but as a means to find a space where they can openly discuss their problems. For many of them, knowing someone is willing to listen and a supportive environment provides significant strength in navigating life's challenges. This is a testament to the effectiveness of counseling. However, it's important to acknowledge that phone consultations have inherent limitations, making it challenging to address fundamental issues and bring about lasting change."

-It must be challenging to listen to the difficulties of others.

"It is a challenging task, especially without a sense of duty. At the Agape Line, about 80 volunteers dedicate three hours each day to taking counseling calls. Despite being initially informed that each call should last 30 minutes, they frequently extend beyond the allocated time. We can’t just hang up because the time is up for those who took the courage to talk. They must be struggling to overcome insurmountable pain. What I truly want to say is that when family, friends, or acquaintances express difficulty, it's crucial not to dismiss their struggles with comments like, 'What's so hard?'

-What does it mean not to dismiss their struggles?

"In my perspective, even seemingly insignificant difficulties can be a profound hardship for someone else, to the extent that it feels like their entire life has been upended. Unfortunately, many incidents are often downplayed with remarks such as, 'Why are you upset?' or 'Time heals everything.' Consequently, the affected individual may struggle to remain silent and seek assistance. Over time, these issues accumulate, growing into more significant problems. Through my counseling sessions, I frequently encounter situations where a little attention and support could have prevented the escalation of these challenges. I encourage others to recognize that reaching out is a plea for survival."


Chin-Ku Lee sys1201@donga.com