Beautiful later years

A highly recommended book is “I Like My Age” by Lee Gi-ok. The author is the eldest daughter of Lee Jong-jun, a social activist who enlightened farmers and a living model of Lee Gwang-soo’s novel “Earth.” Lee is also the widow of the late Kang Seok-yeong, who was a medical professor at Seoul National University and served as head of the Korean Allergy Society. In her book, Lee said, “I like myself at this moment more than anything. I still have time to enjoy my memories and I keep a composure reserved only for the elderly, who don’t need to worry about their children entering college and getting jobs.” Lee became a painter in her 60s and an essayist in her 80s. The age she praises is 88.

George E. Vaillant, an American psychiatrist and professor at Harvard Medical School, presented seven elements as the secret to continuously working and loving in one’s later years. They are a mature defense mechanism to respond to pain, education, a stable marital life, no smoking, abstention from drinking, exercise and keeping a healthy weight. These sound reasonable but people find them difficult to achieve. Vaillant said what determines happy and healthy aging is not intelligence or class but human relationships. In particular, relationships formed through age 47 are the most important factor next to a defense mechanism to successful aging.

The late novelist Park Kyung-ni said in the posthumous collection of her poems “Lighthearted Since I Have Only Things to Ditch” that adversity and pain turn into beautiful memories as time goes by. One of her poem says, “Harsh times went by/I feel comfortable/So much comfort after I aged/Lighthearted since I have only things to ditch.” By contrast, the late novelist Park Wan-seo expressed her regret about failing to realize her dream due to the Korean War in her essay book “The Road I Didn’t Travel On is Beautiful.” According to one’s perspective, the elderly years of a person`s life can be the perfection or decline of life.

The 30th book of Christian evangelist Billy Graham, “Nearing Home: Life, Faith, and Finishing Well,” is drawing huge attention in the U.S. even before its publication. The title was derived from the pastor’s childhood dream of becoming a baseball player. Graham says nobody will help one prepare for loneliness and pain in one`s later years and sadness stemming from the loss of spiritual friends. At the same time, he says prayer and voluntary work are important for preparing for beautiful old age. His advice is a reminder that acceptance of growing old is as important as money in one’s later years.

Editorial Writer Chung Sung-hee (shchung@donga.com)