[Opinion] Pets and TV Sets

`American Beauty,` a critically-acclaimed movie that won Oscar in 2000, depicts an ugly life of a middle-class family in America. The father, who is on the verge of losing his job, feels attracted to one of his teenager daughter`s friends. The mother, who works as a real estate agent, is caught having an affair with her customer. Their only daughter despises the parents. Watching the movie three years ago, I thought it could only happen in America, not here in Korea. Korean families have strong feelings of bondage among members, I believed. I am not certain of it any more, however, seeing what is happening with Korean families.

The traditional roles and functions of a family are all but gone. They do not care for their old parents any more. Children are sent to school and private institutes. What has been left is blood tie. Families now take various forms. Parents get remarried. Children are left with their mothers or fathers. Some adults choose not to marry. Children are sent abroad. Some couples choose not have children. The tragic accident a few weeks ago, in which a despaired mother jumped herself to death with three children, happened as the roles and functions of families continued to be disintegrated. Mothers` being left with children and struggling to survive is a big issue even in advanced countries.

Family members have little time to talk with each other. Koreans spend one hour and 18 minutes on average with their family members, including 40 minutes on dinner table. They share a little time together and even during that time, they hardly talk to each other. ˝Suburban households in big cities cease to function as family,˝ lamented American sociologist Scolnic. Fathers come home very late at night like guests and mothers are too busy with her work. The family disconnection is also serious here in this country.

There is a joke that `families would no more exist without pets in Gangnam and without TV sets in Gangbuk area.` It is about different living patterns, they say. But we must feel more serious than that. The fact that family members feel connected through pets and TV indicates Korean families are breaking down from within. The first step of overcoming the family crisis is to realize that there is a crisis. The problem is that parents are already reeling under the pressure of living and therefore, find little room to look back.

Hong Chan-shik, Editorial Writer, chansik@donga.com