[Opinion] `You Aged Well`

Everyone dies. That`s just a fact. Whatever lives has to die. In spite of the fact that this is a very natural thing, people seem to get very upset about it. We fear death, we want to avoid it - only if we didn`t die at all, or come back to life even if we did die! That`s how we look at it. It may be that every human civilization revolves around its own ideas about death.

But death strikes at any time, any place. It doesn`t matter what age or what state of health you are in. Death finds its way whether we like it or not. Death, however, becomes concrete and real once you reach an old age. At old age, one`s body enters a regressive stage where it can no loner physiologically recover as it used to. As your body becomes that way, so does you mind. And the end is death. Hence, the older we get, the more we think about death.

Yet, we judge people who live their lives with a view to death as being fatalistic. We like to insist that the older we get, the more we have to strive to be youthful, and that`s the way life should be lived. That certainly sounds right. If we view life from the perspective of death, life becomes ashen and dark. There are no opportunities for joy and meaning in life. However, to live life by denying death is pitiful. It is pathetic to deny an inevitable conclusion and to be blind to one`s own end.

Looking at it like this, how one meets death, how one prepares for death becomes a measure of a person`s life. Death is the last stage that gives life its final touch, and life is a time that gives birth to death. If one does not prepare for one`s own death, life becomes crude. This is why we have to learn to age well. There is no difference between aging well and preparing for one`s death. It is a way to bring life to completion.

We have to put into practice two things if we want to age well. First, we must promptly do whatever we need to do in the present. We must not procrastinate or give up. There just isn`t enough time. If we procrastinate now, we may not be able to do it at all. Death is imminent at old age. Even if I die tomorrow, I must finish what I am doing today. If things are not right and correct now, there won`t be another opportunity. If we do not love and seek forgiveness today, we will never be able to. In order to age well, there must be no room for hesitation or delay. Such things will only leave us with a regretful death. That would be a shame.

The other thing that one must do to age well is rather different from what`s been said so far. It`s a bit troubling. A desperate effort to accomplish what one has left unfinished may be a sign of unseemly greed rather than a simple will to live or a sign of moral drive.

In order to live and die with integrity, one must be able to trust that other lives will accomplish those unfinished things and let go of such greed. This is the second thing that we have to do in order to age well.

Such generosity of heart is penance for one`s sense of incompletion and greed. It is also a sign of trust in the living. If our old age becomes colored with generosity of heart, we can be kind to our own failures, ask for forgiveness, trust in all people, which gives us a freedom in our old age and life. We can, then, die in freedom. I think old age could be something like this. Actually, it must be like this.

Hearing the news that our average life span has dramatically lengthened, I contemplate death, life and old age as I come face to face with my own age.

Chung Jin Hong (Professor of Religion, Seoul National University)