“All beings become forlorn when they lose clarity. It is the reason why we get let down easily when we are in love with someone. The heart of the lover appears to be like the ‘evening’ even in the morning and the afternoon, while I continue to rub my eyes like an old senior that cannot see well,” from “Poem and Stroll” by poet Han Jeong-won.
I once met a person twice, only for dinner. When we met for the third time, it was the first time we met in the afternoon. I became aware of her amber-colored light brown eyes, which were like tea. I was mesmerized by the color, which was a rare color for an Asian. I realized that I had not noticed the color when it was dark.
Since then, I have become more alert of things in the evening. The roads at twilight, when the boundaries of different colors and shapes become blurred, it becomes difficult to define the things we think we know. The lens of twilight makes us humble. We lose confidence and become modest.
Author Han Jeong-won likens that moment to falling in love. One who is in love strives to know what the other person is thinking, but mostly such efforts become useless. The more one falls in love, the mind of the person s/he falls in love with becomes more difficult to understand. If one can see through the heart of the person s/he is in love with, you should think again if you are in love. Is it really love when you thoroughly see through the mind of the person you love? Perhaps it is arrogance, rather than love? Love entails endless questions and discoveries. You may think you know everything, but you do not really. You think you have reached the other end, but you are not quite there.
The lens of twilight is crucial to love and all relationships because trying to understand the history behind the other person is the beginning of respect. I remind myself of the phrase “rub my eyes like a senior that cannot see well” whenever I find myself being judgmental towards others, trying to define only white and black. As the author said, the world that loses clarity may be forlorn, but real trust can be born.