Understanding brings about win-win solution to us all

“Get to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In” by Roger Fisher, William L. Ury (Author), and Bruce Patton

I first read this book for a simple reason. As a freelance worker, I got curious about how to win at the negotiating table. Surprisingly, a closer look at the book gave me a greater-than-expected lesson that all the good negotiation tools and strategies can apply to other types of relationships outside the business world. In whatever relationship you are in with your significant other or children, you can help facilitate communication and dialogue if the focus is on trying to understand how the other feels, rather than fighting to get into a stronger position.

Life is full of negotiations. Interestingly, the other side at your negotiating table is most likely to be you. Even while arguing with someone else, you find yourself in an endless negotiation, asking yourself, “Should I give some slack or not?”

Since I got married several months ago, I have often quarreled with my spouse. Whenever we fight, I think about whether I should be patient and understanding. However, I have also found that an easy and quick solution to disagreement is to put my pride aside and take it easy with my partner. It differs from persuading myself to believe, “It is my fault because this guy is right.” The key lies in being an understanding person to accept what has made the other person think that way. Then, the person on the other side also opens his or her heart. We all can be the winners at the same time only when we put ourselves in each other's shoes, talk frankly, and feel secure.

This principle gives a lesson to businessmen. As a person who started a business a while ago, I have found it hard to agree or relate to many of the latest trends in relevant fields. Having said that, if I go out of my way to grasp what the trends imply and put the lesson to use to satisfy my clients, it will surely contribute to my business. Once the door to understanding others opens, I become a more understanding soul over time.

Understanding others is not always easy, but it is worth trying. Understanding others is not a losing strategy but creates a win-win situation.