There are times when sadness is comforting in sorrow, which is why we are looking for a sad song or story when we are sad. The way mathematician Michael Frame deals with sorrow in "Geometry of Grief" comforts people in a strange manner.
Sadness is a generic term for various kinds of sorrow in Korean, and Frame divides it into grief and sadness. When your mother passes, the feeling you feel is categorized as grief, and the light feeling that does not involve emotional weight is categorized as sadness. His interest is focused on grief. One day, a student asked him to write about gravity. “Gravity makes it rain in the sky, snowflakes, and fallen leaves in the autumn. And when I realized that you were gone, tears also rolled down my cheek.” The loss has you gasp for air, and 10 years later, you still shed tears with your heart feeling achy. This state is referred to as grief, he says. This means that grief is based on profound love.
So how can we return from grief? According to Frame, there is no way to recover. Because your mother will still be dead. There are similar types of "smaller griefs" in grief. It is similar to the principle of "self-similarity" in geometry. For example, you can't listen to your mother's voice, eat together, or hug her even if you want to hug her. Life should be divided into when there was your mother and when she was gone. This means that everything should be modified around your mother's absence.
If so, how will life be readjusted? Nobody knows. Because loss and grief have to be endured alone. Since love is “the most private experience,” grief is also a private experience. This is why the words of comfort are lost on those immersed in grief. There is no choice but to listen to their words and wait patiently. One day, some of the energy exuded from grief may be projected outward, helping you open the door to see the world with a brand-new perspective.