May 21 marks Couple's Day, which, fortunately for me, my wife is not interested in. The fewer celebration days a year, the better. Oh, well, I am an absent-minded husband.
Couple counseling is one of the hardest psychological therapies to perform in that doctors try to gain trust from both who are blinded by mutual fury. The first thing to do is appease one with the upper hand. However, it is the trickiest part because a therapy can come to an abrupt end if the stronger feels unpleasant and offended. Otherwise, it is likely that the weaker one does not cooperate but rather rebukes the doctor for poor skills if he or she leans toward the stronger one’s opinions. The best precondition for a successful couple therapy is that both firmly determine that it is the only way to end their couple dispute and live a happier life. With it preconditioned, couples can take a step forward, embrace differences and open their eye to others’ voices. Let me walk you through how to become a couple living happily. Here is an excerpt from the so-called Charter of Best Couples in Lifelong Union, which summarizes interviews of the world’s oldest living married couples over 70 years.
First, be patient and avoid quarrels. A mature being is equipped with patience. However, if you lack maturity yet, do not stay patient over your limit but be wise. If your partner rubs you in the wrong way, make sure you have not made any mistake. If it repeats, try to believe that your partner has made a mistake. On a third occasion, ask verbally if it is an intended act to make you angry. It is worth all your patience at least three times.
Second, compliment your partner. As a saying goes, praise can make even a whale dance. Compliment does not cost you anything, which rather give your returns. It is natural that you feel favorable in those who recognize your value – even if it is based on a hidden intention. If you love someone, you should express your affection to the fullest. It is a fact that is not often spoken – love only shows itself by words and act.
Thirdly, do what both can be happy with. You should go the extra mile to do what gives your partner joy and happiness, going beyond not doing the last thing that he or she wants. This will give you long-term benefits in married life. If you have not found anything yet for both of you to be satisfied with, start engaging in leisure or hobby activities for which both can spend time together.
Last but not least, refrain from being too independent. Overdependency only ends up with disappointment and criticism over the other. Living a married life is about leaning toward each other to a proper level. You are supposed to behave like a grow-up who takes responsibility, not trying to be taken care of as you used to be in childhood. You should ask yourself if your expectations about your partner are reasonable and if you have made a sufficient effort to meet the other’s expectations.
Your married life onward is a long path that you have not walked yet. Thus, you should adore and value your lifelong companion.