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Suspicious Husbands

Posted May. 09, 2005 00:31,   


In May, which is called the queen of the season, many couples tie the knots. For those newlyweds, intimacy is a very important part as well as a tremendous change. As society is getting more tolerant toward premarital sex, young couples seem to not have many worries. However, the actual act in a marital setting is definitely a different thing from many expect or practice before.

Gluey Mucus: Highly Possible to be Caused by a Bladder Infection-

Ms. Cha (28 years old), who got married a year ago, visited a clinic and said, “It seems my husband transmitted a venereal disease to me.” She has suffered from a symptom of having a swollen vagina and stinging feelings after having sex from their beginning of marriage. She also had gluey mucus. She thought it would disappear as she became used to it, but the symptoms repeatedly afflicted her.

Both Ms. Cha and her husband didn’t have a venereal disease. According to the diagnosis, it turned out that they had “honeymoon cystitis.” Ms. Cha has a shorter urethra than an average person’s, so she has a higher possibility pf transmitting bacteria during sexual intercourse. The symptom can be cured easily with antibiotics, but she has to be heedful in sanitary her duties not to have any reoccurrence.

The First Night of the Honeymoon: Who Would Know Without Having Done?-

When females have tense muscle in their vaginal canal, it is impossible to have natural intimacy. This happens when females feel too much burden or fear due to religious factors. Some experience this due to fear of pregnancy.

In fact, due to this tension, there are many couples that are unable to have sex one or two months after their weddings. Males feel mental contractions and can have an erection failure, too. Then, these couples may live without sexual intercourse for over a year.

Becoming impatient is no help but a disturbance when couples are not having sex successfully, although they long for it. It is recommended that instead of sex they should have about 30-minute-long foreplay sessions without attaching it to penetration. If this does not bring any natural progress in one month, they should go and check their reproductive organs or consider medicinal therapy.

Is One Performing Masturbation Secretly? -

Many of men masturbate after marriage. A survey done in the U.S. in the 1990s showed that 85 percent and 45 percents of married men and women, individually, masturbated more than once a year. However, it is not plausible judging that masturbation weakens the sex life. It can happen that the frequency of masturbation can increase due to lack of sex, but it never happens the other way around.

Unconditional blame can result in mortification, so first it should be condoned. It is a good way that either side of a couple implicitly leads a conversation to masturbation after having sex. If one spouse is so engrossed in his or her masturbation and negligent to sex, then he or she needs counseling with a doctor.

Reckless Husband: Is He Addicted to Sex?-

Ms. Yang (28 years old) in her second year in marital status complains, “My husband is gentle in general, but he is just absorbed in his one-sided activity when he is highly excited.” Still it is not necessarily a need to be worried and considered to “being addicted to sex” unless he is forcing odd activities and oblivious of where and when he is having sex.

Every one has one’s own preferable sex pattern. When one’s preference on sex is sought, their biological contentment would be met. However, in case of Ms. Yang’s husband, he should realize emotional contentment as he performs what Ms. Yang wants.

It is not easy having satisfactory sex on both sides. The efforts and mindset of “I am going to have satisfactory sex together” can cause stress. If having balanced contentment to one-time sex is difficult, it is better to have sex in turn that employing what each side prefers.

(References: Professor Yoo Han-ik at the Department of Neurology from the Asan Medical Center and Professor Choi Hyeong-gi from Department of Urology from Yong Dong Severance Hospital.)

TK Sohn sohn@donga.com