The saddest self-portrait

A young woman stands before us, cradling a flower in one hand and resting the other on her protruding belly, suggesting she is pregnant. Her gaze is direct, confident, and luminous. Who is she, and what significance lies in the flower?

This artwork, titled “Self-Portrait with Two Flowers in Her Raised Left Hand” (1907), is the creation of Paula Modersohn-Becker. Known for her numerous self-portraits, her works often carry the distinction of being dubbed “the first.” In 1906, upon turning 30, Becker boldly depicted herself in the nude, marking a historic moment as the first female artist to do so.

Notably, this painting is also the pioneer self-portrait featuring a pregnant artist. In an era where formal education was not readily available to women, Becker pursued her artistic passion through private lessons. She established her studio in Bremen, where she would eventually meet her husband, Otto Modersohn. Initially leaving for Paris to pursue an artistic career, financial constraints led her back to her husband, and soon after, she found herself expecting a baby. During the creation of this portrait, Becker eagerly awaited her child's arrival.

A flower is a symbol of love and fertility. The two flowers she holds convey the joy of creation and conception. Her thick eyelids and rosy cheeks might initially appear as a mask, but her confident and intense gaze draws attention. The woman in the painting is set apart from women in paintings drawn by contemporaneous male painters like Picasso or Matisse. Unlike their idealized or sensually charged depictions, the woman in this painting simply appears as herself—an expression‎ of confidence and self-esteem as both a female artist and a mother.

Tragically, this poignant painting marks the final self-portrait by Becker. Her artistic journey was cut short, as she passed away just 19 days after giving birth to her daughter, the same year she completed this artwork, due to complications from childbirth. She was only 31 years old. This painting, created during the happiest moment of her life, became the saddest self-portrait.


조보은기자 jbe020111@donga.com