What makes for happy family

“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way” (Tolstoy, 1875-1877/2001, p. 1). - Tolstoy's novel Anna Karenina 　

The job of a prosecutor specialized in domestic violence is to have face-to-face interviews with the involved to ask them what caused incidents, how they feel and if they have any intentions to sustain their married life. All of such questions automatically turn an interview session into couple or family counseling.

Except domestic violence by some repeat offenders, most cases occur when people lose their control and leave themselves overwhelmed by their whirring emotions while tussling for a mobile or smashing their fists against the wall, for example. "You must have been having a hard time.” Being nervous about getting interrogated for the first time in their lifetime, those who find that someone else shows empathy toward their sufferings immediately open their heart to complain that things have been hard on them.

In the aftermath of the COVID-19 pandemic, long hours of taking care of children home and economic difficulties are rising as one of the most often-said causes of domestic violence. Advised to receive couple counseling, a young mother answered in a tiring voice, "I take care of my 8-month-old twins all day long. I can't go out.” A former travel agency employee broke into tears saying that he almost wanted to end his life as he had a fight with his wife for not telling her that he was fired and pretending to go to work every morning. Every family has their own stories, and unhappy families have their own different reasons for dispute.

However, they all have one thing in common – a sense of strong willingness to overcome family discords and protect their family. Being raised by coercive parents and not being accustomed to expressing love and affection, a man in his 50s turned a new leaf after counseling. An old lady, who refused to admit her dependency on alcohol, decided to get hospitalized despite feeling shame because her grandson begged her to receive treatment. Even if they do not always make it, none of them is to blame because they worked so hard for the better. I only hope that your family sometimes comes across peaceful days although almost every day may seem full of mess and trouble.