Feel how others feel

“The love of not giving is a pain of shouldering a burden.”

― ”The Blue Light Girl” in Park No-hae's poetry picture book

The author tells a girl on an emergency landing on earth from an alien planet what life on earth is like. He is sad about finite human life and selfishness and possession in the human mind although earth has children, justice and love with beautiful nature in the backdrop. The girl offers him to leave the planet but he rejects her offer. He hopes to share love because the love of not giving is a pain.

Merely loving someone else does not justify the feeling of affection. If love is not shared from your heart with people around you, you are left with pain and suffering. I learned what this phrase means a while ago when I met a priest at a charity event for food sharing. When a food sharing charity was about to close due to financial difficulties following the COVID-19 pandemic, he cried all night at the thought of homeless people left hungry in helplessness and frustration. The priest reminded me of the poet’s phrase that a deep understanding of someone else’s pain drives you to the stage of love where you even feel the pain from within. 　

Even if you do not go this far, it is important to put yourself into someone else’s shoes. Sympathy matters when you have to resolve realistic and practical issues. As a lawyer, I come across many fights and confrontations in the court. Once people confront each other, it is likely that they become too nearsighted to get out of their own situation, ending up in a stalemate. It is also a lawyer’s job to identify pain points of the other and figure out how to solidify his client’s reasoning.

However, the key to resolving confrontation lies not in focusing on your arguments and rationale but in trying to have a better understanding of the other’s circumstances. Being a better lawyer sometimes requires me to spot hidden intentions on the back side and help the involved understand each other’s situations, rather than arguing over what’s right and what’s wrong. My personal belief is that we can make life on earth a better thing by helping people at odds with each other sympathize and pursue agreement.