Holding hands without asking may seem rude. However, it does not have to think so in psychology because how we feel is dictated by what we do. As William James, a former Harvard professor who is also known as the father of modern psychology, put it, we do not smile because we feel happy or cry because we feel sad: we feel happy because we smile, or we feel sad because we cry.
Understanding the role of oxytocin and serotonin, which stir positive emotions can help you earn people’s hearts and trust. Oxytocin is a neuropeptide that plays a role in emotional bonding and trust building. The simplest way to trigger the release of oxytocin is to touch. If you are with your family member or someone close to you, hold their hands or give them a big hug. It will help produce oxytocin.
If you are with someone who is not as close, the following three tips might help. First, bask in sunshine together. It is hard to feel depressed while enjoying the sunshine on a clear sunny day. Bright sunshine causes the release of the hormone. If you want to talk to your colleague, why not converse with them outside under the sun? This will increase chances of getting agreement.
Second, move your body. If you move your body, neurons are ignited more frequently, which, in turn, produces serotonin. Bring up your ideas while taking a walk, for example. It will help you get a positive reaction.
Third, remind the other person of their happy memories. If any physical activity is not possible on a gloomy day, remind them of fun and happy moments in their lives. Thinking of great memories alone can help produce more serotonin. Ask questions that can evoke joyful memories. For instance, you can ask your new colleague how they felt when they got the job, or ask a colleague who just came back from their holidays about the most exiting part of the vacation. You can also ask when they think their babies are adorable if they are parents.
If you find it difficult to start a conversation, it may be a good idea to create a favorable environment first. Try taking a walk outside with the other person on a sunny day and expressing your gratitude. Start by asking questions that will bring a smile to their faces, and you are off to a great start.